THE TELEPHONE
My telephone rang.
"Hello,
Who's speaking?"
"The Elephant."
"Oh,
Where do you happen to be?"
"Jungle-Town, Camel-Street, 3."
"What do you want?"
"Some chocolate, sweet,
To give my sonnie a bit of a treat."
"Afpound or two?"
"Oh, a ton will do.
He just wants a bite.
He's a wee little mite."

The Crocodile phoned me next.
And his voice was terribly vexed:
"I'm sorry, dear friend,
But I wish you could send
A couple of pairs of galoshes
For me and my wife and Totosha-
"You do wear them fast!
Why, Wednesday last
I sent you a dozen or two,
Splendid ones too, quite new!"
"Ah, those that you sent us
On Wednesday last
Were all eaten up very fast.
And now we are waiting
(I hope not in vain)
To have some galoshes
For dinner again.
A dozen of sweet new galoshes!"

Then some Bunnies called, wheezing and sneezing:
"Send us mittens,
Our paws are freezing."

Then a call came from two Chimpanzees:
"Send us some books, will you please."

The next one to call was Bruin:
"My ear-drums were threatened with ruin."
"Now look here, my friend, don't bellow!
Can't you speak like a decent old fellow!"
But he kept on mooing and booing,
Such a worrisome, bothersome Bruin!
"Hang up the receiver, please!"

Next called some Cranes from the bogs:
"We've got indigestion from frogs,
And the pain in our tummies is hateful!
Besides, we've got chills,
Do send us some pills
We'll be awfully, awfully grateful!"

Then the Sow called: "Hullo, hullo!"
And she asked me: "Perhaps you may know
Some Nightingale who would agree
To sing a duet with me.
If you do, please send him along
And we'll sing a nice little song."
Well, I felt like starting a row.
"A Nightingale sing with a Sow?
Better call for a Crow right now!"

Then again from the Bear:
"Come and rescue the Seal
He's touched an electric eel!"
All day long it's the same old thing:
Ting-a-Iing, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling—
They ring,
And they ring,
And they ring.

Not so long ago a pair
Of Gazelles rang in despair:
"What has happened with the fair?
Are the seesaws no more there?
It's a loss we couldn't bear!"
*Tut-tut-tut!
There, there, there!
Nothing's happened to the fair!
Swings and seesaws are all there.
All this racket, I declare,
Is too much for me to bear!
Off with you, now, to the fair!"
Still those silly good-for-nothings
Whined and wailed about the fair.
What a very stupid pair!

Last Friday the Kangaroo called:
"This is Wash 'Em Clean's flat, I am told.'
I got frightfully angry at that,
So I yelled, "No, it isn't his flat!"
"Then where's Wash 'Em Clean?"
"I'm afraid I don't know.
Try seventy-seven-six-o."

I've been burning the lights
Three nights,
I'm dreaming of bed,
I'm half dead.
When will it leave me alone,
That phone?
"Who is it?"
"The Rhino.'"
"Well?"
"Come quickly,
It's dreadful to tell!"
"What's happened?
Earthquake or fire?"
"No—Hippo's got stuck in the mire."
"Stuck in the mire?"
"And how!
He'll be up to his ears by now.
Oh dear, if you don't hurry here
Poor Hippo will soon disappear,
Ah, Hippo will die
 Like a fly!"
"Now, now, I'm coming, don't shout,
I'll help you to pull him out.''
By golly, it is quite a job
Pulling Hippo out of the bog.



DOCTOR POWDERPILL
Dear old Doctor Powderpill,
If you're ailing, if you're ill
Come and see him and be healed,
Beast and bird of wood and field.
Worm and bug and wolf and bear.
Cow and sheep and goat and hare!
Everyone from everywhere
Will receive his aid and care!

Once a fox came and paid him a call;
"Oh, a wasp stung my back!" Did she squall!
Then a pup came to see him, morose:
 "Oh, a hen pecked my poor little nose!"
Mrs. Bunny ran up in a flurry:
"Oh, how sad, how unhappy I am!
My sonny fell under a tram,
My sonny, my bunny
Fell under a tram!

He hopped and he skipped in the street
When a tram came and cut off his feet.
And now he's in bed, poor bunnikin-boy.
My sonny, my bunny, my only joy!"
But the doctor exclaimed, "Never fear!
Just bring your bunnikin here.
I'll make him a new pair of feet
And again he'll skip in the street!"
And they brought him the bunny, poor dear.
So ill, without any feet.
And the doctor sewed on a new pair
And again he could skip in the street.

And his mother, the old Missis Bun,
Danced around and around with her son.
She laughed and she wept with her joy:
"Thank you, Doctor, for curing my boy!"

Then a jackal on a mare
Galloped up from god knows where:
"Here's a telegram for you
From the Hippo, just come through!"

"Come and see us, Doctor,
In Africa, be quick.
Save our children, Doctor,
They're very, very sick!"

"Really? Truly? What is wrong?
Have they been laid up for long?"

"Yes, oh yes, they've got the 'flu,
Chickenpox and smallpox too,
Measles, mumps, appendicitis,
Malaria and bronchitis.

"Come, dear Doctor Powderpill,
All depends upon your skill!"

"Very well, I'll come, all right,
And help your children in their plight.
Only your address — what is it?
Hill or swamp — what shall I visit?"

"Well, we live in the Sahara,
In the scorching Kalahari,
Up on Mount Fernando-Po,
Where the grumpy Hippo-Poppo
Roams the mighty Limpopo."

Then he goes, Powderpill,
And he runs, Powderpill,
Over marsh, over mire, over dale, over hill.
And one single word he repeats, Powderpill,
"Limpopo, Limpopo, Limpopo!"

The snow fell thick and the night was black:
"Hey, Powderpill, turn back, turn back!"
And he dropped, Powderpill, on his face in the snow:
"I'm tired, too tired to get up and go!"

All at once grey wolves rushed out from a wood
And ran to the spot where the doctor stood:
"Come, mount us. Doctor, and let's be gone.
Quicker than lightning we'll speed you on!"
On a big grey wolf gallops Powderpill,
And one single word he repeats, Powderpill:
"Limpopo, Limpopo, Limpopo!"

But soon they arrived at a sea,
Roaring, stormy and free,
With waves so fearfully tall
They'd swallow the doctor, his hat and all!

"Oh dear, if I ever drown
In the waves and go deep, deep down—
What'll happen to my poor friends
Whom nobody nurses or tends?"

Then a whale from the waters chill
Rose and said: "Climb up, Powderpill,
And like a great big ship
In a jiffy I'll make the trip!"

Up on the whale he gets with a will,
And one single word he repeats, Powderpill:
"Limpopo, Limpopo, Limpopo!"

Then mountains he met of great height.
And he climbed and he climbed until night.
But the mountains grew steeper, the mountains grew starker.
And the sky became darker and darker and darker.

"Oh, if I don't reach my goal.
 If I never get there at all,
What'll happen to my poor friends
Whom nobody nurses or tends?"

And at once from a great big rock
Eagles flew down in a flock;
"Mount us, Doctor, and let's be gone.
Swift as lightning we'll speed you on!"

There on an eagle he sits, Powderpill,
And one single word he repeats,
Powderpill: "Limpopo, Limpopo, Limpopo!"


In Africa, in Africa,
By the mighty Limpopo,
Weeping out his poor old heart.
Sits woeful Hippo-Po.

In Africa, in Africa
He sits beneath a tree
And looks and looks from Africa
Upon the deep blue sea:
"When will the doctor's ship arrive,
Dearie, dearie me!"

The rhinos and the elephants
Keep running up to telephones
Asking with impatience:
"When will he see his patients?"

Nearby the baby hippoes
Lie suffering from hiccoughs,
Holding their poor tummies,
Their tummies torn by pain.

The ostrich-chicks, so bad they feel,
Like little pigs they wail and squeal.
The poor dear baby ostriches
Whimper and complain.

They've mumps, appendicitis.
Measles and bronchitis,
Soar throat and tonsillitis,
Their cries are loud and shrill.

They moan and groan in fever:
"Must we wait forever,
Must we wait forever
For Doctor Powderpill?"

Beside them sprawls a sharp-toothed shark,
A sharp-toothed shark,
A deep-mouthed shark
Whose tots are very ill.

Her poor dear darling sharklings
Are in a dreadful plight:
Their teeth so sharp and sparkling
Keep aching day and night!

Poor grasshopper — o me, o my!
He's hurt his foot and sprained his thigh.
He doesn't jump, he doesn't leap,
But all he does is sob and weep
With tear-drops falling fast:
"Oh, where is Doctor Powderpill,
When will he come at last?"

But look — in the sky two great eagles appear.
Another ten minutes and they will be here.
On one sits the doctor of world-famous skill —
The doctor, their saviour, the dear Powderpill.
"Hullo to you, Africa," loudly he cries.
"Hurrah!" they all greet him with tears in their eyes.

The eagle flies slower and slower,
The eagle comes lower and lower.
The doctor lands and runs to their aid
With jam and treacle and marmalade.
He pats the poor hippoes' bellies
And treats them to sweets and jellies.
And takes the poor darlings' temperature.

Then he runs to the tiger
Who came from the Niger
And then to the ape
Who came from the Cape
And gives them all honey
Hot milk, egg and honey,
Hot milk, egg and honey,
Hot milk, egg and honey to cure them.

Ten nights and ten days
Without sleeping he stays,
Ten days and ten nights
He tends the poor mites
And takes the poor darlings' temperature.

Now at last he's cured the lot,
Limpopo!
Every ill and ailing tot,
Limpopo!
And they all began to giggle,
Limpopo!
Jump and caper, dance and wriggle,
Limpopo!

And the huge and fearful shark
Winked its eyes from waters dark
And it laughed and laughed and laughed
As if it suddenly went daft!

And the hippoes, dear, wee fellows,
Puffing, whoofing just like bellows,
Roared and laughed and guffawed so
That the oaks rocked to and fro!

Here comes Hippo, here comes Poppo,
Hippo-Poppo, Hippo-Poppo!
Here comes Hippopotamus,
From the great Kilimanjaro
Through sands of the Sahara,
Singing gaily, "Long live doctors
Bringing health to all of us!"



WASH'EM CLEAN
From my bed
The blanket fled.
And the sheet refused to stay,

And the pillow,
Like a billow,
Gathered up and flew away.

I got up to reach the light,
But it also took to flight.
I decided I would look
At my coloured picture-book —
In a twinkling it had fled,
Hiding underneath the bed.

When I thought I'd have some tea,
Cups and saucers ran from me.
Teaspoons, teapot, cream and eggs
Ran as though they all had legs!

What has happened?
What's the matter?
What's the reason
For this rout?
What a tumult,
What a clatter!
Has the world turned inside out?
Mother's irons
chased
the dippers,
While the bird-cage
chased
the slippers,
And the slippers
chased the nippers,
And the poker
chased
the toys.

What a tumult,
What a racket,
What a horrid, horrid noise!

Suddenly from Mummy's bedroom.
Crooked-legged, old and lame,
Straight towards me came the wash-stand,
And he scolded as he came:
"Oh, you nasty little slacker!
Oh, you naughty little squirt!
There's no chimney-sweep who's blacker,
There's no pig so fond of dirt!
Take a look into the mirror,
See the ink spots on your nose?
And your neck, your dirty fingers,
Never wash them, I suppose?
So no wonder even stockings
Couldn't stand a sight so shocking.

Every morning, bright and early,
All the little mice go washing,
And the kittens, and the ducklings,
And the ants and spiders, too.

All but you have washed this morning,
Brushed their teeth and combed their hair,
You're the only piggy-wiggy,
So you've nothing left to wear!

I'm a great and famous wash-stand,
'Wash 'Em Clean' is what I'm called.
I command the other wash-stands,
I have troops of sponges bold!

If I stamp, or wave my hand,
Ail the troops at my command
Will come rushing to this room
With a clangour and a boom!

They will start to snort and howl,
They will stamp their feet and growl.
Though it won't be quite a whipping,
You'll be scrubbed until you gleam.
And a dipping,
And a dipping,
They will give you in the stream!"

Then he smote his bowl of brass,
And he cried: "Kara-baras!"
And at once a swarm of brushes
Chirped and darted round like thrushes,
And they scrubbed, and scrubbed and scrubbed me,
Saying as they scrubbed and rubbed me:

"We will wash this little blighter
Whiter, whiter, whiter, whiter!
We will scrub this naughty mite
White, white, white, white!"

Then the soap jumped up, or rather,
Simply pounced upon my head,
And it covered me with lather,
Till I thought I'd soon be dead.

To escape the raging sponge,
In the ocean I could plunge,
But it wouldn't let me be,
Everywhere it followed me.

I rushed out into the square,
Jumped across a railing there,
But it followed like a hound
Biting me at every bound.

Suddenly around a turning
I saw dear old Uncle Croc,
With his twins he was returning
From an early morning walk.
And that sponge which dared to follow,
Like a bit of fluff he swallowed.

Then he turned blood-shot eyes, and he glared,
Then he stamped and he shouted and flared.
"What an awful disgrace,"
he exclaimed.
"Go at once and wash your face,"
he exclaimed.
"If you don't, I will beat you!"
he cried.
"If you don't, I will eat you!"
he cried.

I ran homeward like a streak of lighting then,
Till in front of "Wash 'Em Clean" I stood again.
Soap and water,
Soap and water,
I applied with all my might.
Washed the dirt off,
Washed the ink off,
Till my face was beaming white.

Back my clothes came in a band,
Jumping straight into my hand.

And a pie stood up on end,
Saying: "You can eat me, friend."

Then an apple from the south
Flew and landed in my mouth.

There's my picture-book returning,
All my toys, both small and big,
There's my book of sums and primer
Joining in a merry jig!

Then the great and famous wash-stand,
"Wash 'Em Clean", as he is called,
Who commands all other wash-stands,
Who has troops of sponges bold,
Ran towards me dancing, prancing,
Kissing me, he said and smiled:

"That's a darling! Now you're splendid,
Now that all your ways have mended,
All your nasty habits ended.
Now you look a decent child!"

Every morning, every evening,
We must play the washing game.
And to those,
Who're always dirty —
Lasting shame!
Lasting shame!

Hurray for towels and sponges!
Hurray for soapy foam!
Hurray for snow-white tooth-paste!
Hurray for brush and comb!

Then let us all wash every morn, every day,
Let's splash in the water and merrily play
In bath-tubs, in wash-tubs, in basins and bowls,
In oceans, in rivers, with boats and with balls.

Washing is healthy for young and for old,
So glory to water, both steaming and cold!